Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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