one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
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