walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Randomize
