I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Randomize
