Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
