I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
