I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Randomize
