for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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