your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Randomize
