No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I am naked and annoyed.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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