i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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