Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
