Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
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