just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
I got inside last night via doggy door
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Randomize