Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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