i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
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