I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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