i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I deserve to be covered in dicks
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Randomize
