some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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