marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize