paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
