using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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