if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
