I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
