I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
