according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Randomize
