please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
splinters make it hard to masturbate
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
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