i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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