brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
