My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
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