That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Randomize
