omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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