Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
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