I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
Randomize
