morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
wow bdsm is so cute
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Randomize
