i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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