I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
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