i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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