Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
And then he peed in my hair
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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