just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize