Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
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