So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
