No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize
