He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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