So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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