You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Randomize
