I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
I wish you could order shots online.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
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I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
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nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
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