Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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