Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
My vagina just clenched in fear
Randomize
