halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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