So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
me + whiskey = a bad person
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Randomize