We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Randomize
