Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
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