Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
