it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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