i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
PANTIES FOUND
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