So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Randomize
