mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
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