Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
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