I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
