Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
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