There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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